Right outside the window in my bathroom is a giant bush. Last spring I remember looking out the window at it every time I walked in there to go to the bathroom. Each time I would look at it, there would be new growth. Green buds and leaves sprouting all over. After a long, coldContinue reading “A Year Gone By….”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Triggers
A letter to Cade June 29, 2020 This afternoon I went back in to Chapel Hill Bodyworks for the first time since you died. Ms Chris was going to do some massage treatments on me this time. We would always joke and say how much mommy needed work too, but you were far more important.Continue reading “Triggers”
High’s and Low’s
Every night when it’s time for bed Rylan and I talk about what our “highs” and “lows” were for the day. Many times my low for the day would be that I had a sad day or was missing Cade. Sometimes when it was my turn Rylan would say “let me guess, your low isContinue reading “High’s and Low’s”
There Are Signs Everywhere
Letters to Cade- Tuesday, May 26 2020 Tonight we were sitting in the kitchen having dinner. Me, daddy, Rylan, and the empty seat where you always sat. I was sitting in the chair facing the windows to the backyard, and all of a sudden in the middle of dinner, I noticed a red figure onContinue reading “There Are Signs Everywhere”
A letter to Cade
I saw this picture not long after Cade died. It was on another cancer organization page that I follow, someone had shared it along with a poem that they wrote. I honestly don’t remember what the poem said, but the picture I would never forget. The picture was so powerful to me that I savedContinue reading “A letter to Cade”
The Brave Little Soul
About a week and a half after Cade died, a fellow mom shared this poem with Chris and I. She and her husband had also lost their son to Medulloblastoma. She also shared with me that he too died at 5:40 pm. It is such a random time of day so when she told meContinue reading “The Brave Little Soul”
Mothers Day
Today has been a hard day. The weather outside isn’t helping matters any. It’s cold and rainy and actually snow flurries just started coming down, which is fantastic. I love when it snows in May. I have actually felt sad for the last few days. Maybe my body was anticipating how it would feel today,Continue reading “Mothers Day”
Moving Forward
After my post Thursday we had to go to the funeral home. I just felt numb. But on our drive we noticed something that warmed our hearts. It was supposed to be another gloomy, rainy day. As it had been the last couple days, stormy and gray. Instead, we noticed that while the day hadContinue reading “Moving Forward”
Never Give Up
This was the name of a Puravida bracelet my sister gave me in the beginning of Cades diagnosis. She gave it to me one day when she was visiting us inpatient at CHW. She explained that she really wanted one for pediatric cancer or brain tumor, but they didn’t make them for either and sheContinue reading “Never Give Up”
Preparing For the End…
How do you prepare for the end? Prepare to say goodbye? That is something that we are trying to figure out right now. It’s hard enough to imagine for a loved one. A parent. An Aunt or Uncle. Grandparent. Friend. But how do you prepare yourself for that final goodbye when it is your sweet,Continue reading “Preparing For the End…”
Our Warrior Journey 