Candace

A Year Gone By….

Right outside the window in my bathroom is a giant bush. Last spring I remember looking out the window at it every time I walked in there to go to the bathroom. Each time I would look at it, there would be new growth. Green buds and leaves sprouting all over. After a long, coldContinue reading “A Year Gone By….”

Triggers

A letter to Cade June 29, 2020 This afternoon I went back in to Chapel Hill Bodyworks for the first time since you died. Ms Chris was going to do some massage treatments on me this time. We would always joke and say how much mommy needed work too, but you were far more important.Continue reading “Triggers”

High’s and Low’s

Every night when it’s time for bed Rylan and I talk about what our “highs” and “lows” were for the day. Many times my low for the day would be that I had a sad day or was missing Cade. Sometimes when it was my turn Rylan would say “let me guess, your low isContinue reading “High’s and Low’s”

There Are Signs Everywhere

Letters to Cade- Tuesday, May 26 2020 Tonight we were sitting in the kitchen having dinner. Me, daddy, Rylan, and the empty seat where you always sat. I was sitting in the chair facing the windows to the backyard, and all of a sudden in the middle of dinner, I noticed a red figure onContinue reading “There Are Signs Everywhere”

A letter to Cade

I saw this picture not long after Cade died. It was on another cancer organization page that I follow, someone had shared it along with a poem that they wrote. I honestly don’t remember what the poem said, but the picture I would never forget. The picture was so powerful to me that I savedContinue reading “A letter to Cade”

Mothers Day

Today has been a hard day. The weather outside isn’t helping matters any. It’s cold and rainy and actually snow flurries just started coming down, which is fantastic. I love when it snows in May. I have actually felt sad for the last few days. Maybe my body was anticipating how it would feel today,Continue reading “Mothers Day”